Well Cathy is excited. One of her Christmas gifts was nail polish, hair clips, gift cert. to Olive Garden, and gift cert. to Movies. She gets to invite two friends to spend the night and then on Saturday I'll take them to OG and the Movies. She's doing that today. She wastes no time. I told her to wait since both kid friendly movies out there she's already seen. Carmike theatre was out of gift cert. so we had to get it for the one in the mall. Carmike has a new kid movie Happily Never After. some backwards version of a fairytale. but regal (mall) just has Happy Feet and Charlotte's Web. But according to the girls - "we don't care what we watch. we just want to come".
I talked to parents and asked if their daughters could come. Both of them agreed, one was hesitant - but I think that is more a cultural thing (hispanics don't make a habit of spending the night often). She seemed to be comforted by the fact that I work at the school. Yes, I did pull the para pro card. It makes me sound like such a great person. The other parent said yes right away, but she will drop her daughter off later in the evening because they have "something". I wondered if that was just a polite way of saying "i want to see who you are and where my daughter is going to be". It was good to know that parents are still nervous about stuff like me. If it's not a public place I wonder about letting my kids go there.
What makes a person approved? What makes me approved in their eyes if I've never met them. Pretty soon I won't be calling with a Whitstran Elem. caller ID and I won't have the Parapro (the school says I'm ok) card. Of course I can always pull the "Family Life Pastor" card - hee hee. What makes you a credible person for others to allow their kids in your home?
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7 comments:
Wow you just blow me away with some of your questions sometimes. I would have to answer this question based on my just some of my standards.
I believe that where a person works says quite a bit about them, but it is not always a determining factor. I believe the behavior of the child that my children are staying with has a large impact. If the child is rude and disrespectful then my kid would definitely not stay with them. The freedom to do what the child wants speaks volumes also. If a child is free to do what they want when they want then what boundaries will their parents set for my son or daughter? Okay I think I have said enough. I believe that you must be able to see that the other parent must hold your child to the standards that you would have them meet. If their standards aren't close or exceed yours, then I wouldn't let my child go.
I don't think work places automatically make someone super good or super bad, either. It is amazing how teachers, pastors, and such individuals still have issues.
Was it pastor Jon who said that we, as a church at large (as a generalization), will not let someone be a pastor/teacher/like for issues like infidelity, yet will ignore it if they have they have bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger in their hearts?
I don't have children; maybe i will feel different when I have children.
I think if you are focusing on seeking first God's kindgom and his righteousness, and are serving in church, you are going to find people of similar general values.
hopefully, you will find fellowship. we are called to keep a close fellowship. i have had my desert times in regards to churches, but hopefully by the Lord's grace and my being obedient you will have fellowship.
Granted, we are constantly being discipled as well as discipling other people. That occurs past the individual; it carrys on into the family.
So, I think if your heart is to serve the Lord by serving in Church, or if your 'center' is there,then you will:
(1) constantly be feeding your children spiritually
(2) will be hopefully focusing on deepening your discipling relationship with your children, and
(3) be discipling other families and reaching the lost.
And that is where it gets tricky.
I think exposure is good. People should be able to give a defense for their belief system and virtues, and actually understand it for themselves. How else are they going to become equpped and empowered to carry these virtues and belief systems with them when they are on their own and are no longer forced by mom and dad?
Isen't that why some children go to public school? To (1) be a light, and (2) know the difference.
there is so much socialization that happens in schools.. not just public... seriously....
i think often the seemingly 'minor,' but consistant, messages are far greater than the overt and offensive exceptions.
the studies of how violent TV and computer games affects our aggresiveness is a prime example...
You need good role models, though. for them... if they don't think God is cool there is problems.
i'm tired.. .so i am done.. this is not a perfected apology but this will do.
so what if they get an invitation to a birthday party. you don't know what standards they have or in some cases much about the child's behavior - i happen to know a lot because i work at school and see these kids everyday. but what if i was just a mom who hears names of kids, but hasn't seen them. well i suppose you hear stories of what they might get away with. so i guess jeannie how do you get all your info.
and holly did you answer the question?
i have to agree with jeannie on what she says, that if your childs friends parents dont meet your standards or are close to it then dont let your child go. because when your child see other children going out and doing things, they're going to want to do things too, or as they say "its not fair or you're mean!", but in the end your child ends up respecting you for protecting them from what could have happened or whatever. does that make sense? also i dont believe that where you work is a determining factor because if something comes up on your record or not, it doesnt always stay on there :( hope this answers your question maggie...God Bless You
p.s. is there sunday night church? i wont be able to attend sunday morning because we have core training at work that day.
jen
in answer, i personally would rather have my kid go instead of not going.
what is the chances of something absolutely crazy happening at a 3rd graders birthday partY? especially if the parents are going along with it and (1) spending all the money to throw the party as well as send the invitations, and (2) are reaching out to you.
now, if we are talking an invitation to a party when your kids or either in middle or high school, that is different.
there is stuff that can serious impair them (in the moment... alocohol, drugs.. rape.. killing..etc.)
but if the invitation is coming facilitated through the parents, then there is more credibility you can account for.
I believe kids should be raised to be able to choose more than not choose. And with that comes education. They should be educated between the differences. I think most kids have the maturity to start dissecting those issues about 3-5th grade.
on a side note, that is a huge theme in the constitution of this country. This is what America stands for. You get to choose. But with that comes responsibility and education.
How else are they going to reach out to the lost? How else are they going to grow in apologetics?
and if they get invited to a 'risky' party by the time they are in middle or high school, it is likely you should have already had a good 10-15 years to disciple them. They should already have an idea what kind of character the kid has who did the inviting.
What does Barna research say? something crazy.. like 80-90% of behavior is already imprinted by a super young age?
Also, most individuals, again by Barna research, choose to follow the Lord before age 18. Seriously, when I say most, that I do believe is about 90%. And the majority is still there at a younger age. About 14.
One party in third grade facilitated by the parents is not going to derail the child as a generalization.
I think there is far greater danger in the everyday socialization that happens at school. The consistent daily messages... That are not at the one-time (or up to the 12-times in a possible year) birthday party invitation from strangers....
At schools, as well as in our general society, we teach kids that they can't think for themselves. We tell them what to think....
I think if the parent is the primary discipler, if they are meditating on the Lord and his word from morning til night, and if they are putting the Lord first and stamping his Word and presence at their house, on their gate, at their work, etc., then they should be able to walk with them to overcome whatever negative exposure their child encounters.
we are called to an active faith instead of a passive one. Acts shows us that the early church was so active... was pushing against massive persecution.. was walking in 'unsafe' territory.
and if our greatest comission is to spread the Word and the Love of the Lord, it requires active faith.
Not the popular opinion.... but i am going to stay integritous to this opinion until I am show different. I know I can trust the Lord that he allowed me to go through all that I did. He had a reason for allowing me to be raised the way that I did. I can also trust that he was and is sovereign. He puts ideas in our heads and makes us think they are our ideas.
plus.. the post-modern culture that is about.
this generation is different than with what most of us was raised in
(i was raised post-modern, but the 'cut-off' date)
this culture does not respect authority like the past, largely because their authorities are not good examples, and also largely because they are so starved for truth and hope.
my heart is to encourage, equip, and empower kids by educating kids through relationship.
yes, jen, we have night church.
thanks for your comment holly. sometimes i wonder is we shield our kids too much. believe that kids should make the right choices because there actually are choices out there. meaning the can see the right and the wrong - so they choose right - hooray. not because the right choice is the only choice out there.
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